Vannin' Home Forums General Discussion Off Topic Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awakened.
The noise would wake his wife
and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop farting because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to fart.

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had
put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
and a malicious thought came to her!
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her
husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband awaken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a bloodcurdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing and with tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right.
All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

I knew there a reason I didnt join ... lol