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| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 | Yes we are
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money?
It suffered from withdrawals.
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I once dated a geologist, but the relationship was just too rocky.
I was crushed.
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I failed at investigative journalism, pursuing a lead about an ice cream shop that was serving undersized portions.
I couldn’t get the scoop.
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Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie.
I can’t complain, it’s a wonderful life.
Besides I’m still here, it’s not like I’m gone with the wind. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jul 2019 Posts: 11,241 Likes: 412 Post Junkie | Post Junkie Joined: Jul 2019 Posts: 11,241 Likes: 412 | All good. The ice cream shop joke was " the cherry on top" | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 2,286 Likes: 153 veteran | veteran Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 2,286 Likes: 153 | So. Went to Mickey D's for breakfast. Saw a nice Rig pulling a big horse trailer. Once inside, hard not to notice the sharply dressed Wranglers. At the counter, my Friendly clerk and I were exchanging pleasantries. "Good morning! Boy there sure is a buncha goodooking Cowboys in here, and I'm not one of them..." | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | HIS & HERS ROAD TRIP
HERS: Pulls off at wrong exit.
Opens window.
Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer.
Arrives at destination presently.
HIS: Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one.
Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right.
Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.
Finally rolls down window just to get fresh air.
Pulls up to a 7 -11.
Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky.
Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.
Gets back into car.
Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.
Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.
Almost hits a deer.
Curses the night.
Curses you.
Curses the large slurpee.
Drives and fiddles with radio.
Yells at you for suggesting the map again.
Admits he didn’t want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister’s anyway.
He hates your sister.
Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel.
He had to look up pernicious.
Couldn’t find a dictionary.
Finally found a dictionary.
Couldn’t spell pernicious.
Seethes at the memory of it all.
But she is laughing inside…
And of course you’re still lost. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jul 2019 Posts: 11,241 Likes: 412 Post Junkie | Post Junkie Joined: Jul 2019 Posts: 11,241 Likes: 412 | | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 |
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | Two men were golfing, and the fairway of the hole they were playing was adjacent to a road.
The first man was setting up for his swing, when a funeral procession went by on the road.
He stopped, faced the procession for a moment, then bowed his head in prayer as the hearse passed by.
Only when the procession had passed out of view did he resume playing, driving his ball to the green.
As they were walking toward the green, the second man said, “That was a touching show of respect for the the deceased back there. I had no idea you were so sentimental.”
The first man shrugged and said, “It’s the least I could do. I was married to her for thirty years.” | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 |
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | |
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