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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #754486
November 27th 2019 8:22 am
November 27th 2019 8:22 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
Please do miss them!


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
77 chevy Prohecy rebuild

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #754874
December 13th 2019 6:19 am
December 13th 2019 6:19 am
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,477
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,477
Michigan
Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?” The man said “No.”

Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, “This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!”

The man replied, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”

“That’s really sad,” said Bob, “but still, couldn’t you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?”

“No,” the man replied, “they’re all at the funeral!”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #754875
December 13th 2019 6:22 am
December 13th 2019 6:22 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
lol


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
77 chevy Prohecy rebuild

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #754886
December 13th 2019 11:39 am
December 13th 2019 11:39 am
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 14,612
Van Diego California
frscke1 Offline
frscke1  Offline

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 14,612
Van Diego California
Oh that's funny


SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO
ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN
ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS
'93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB
'92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #754908
December 14th 2019 2:47 pm
December 14th 2019 2:47 pm
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,477
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,477
Michigan
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, Gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner.!”

The room really got quiet.
Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
“Yes?” replied the teacher.

“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #754909
December 14th 2019 2:51 pm
December 14th 2019 2:51 pm
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
lol nice


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
77 chevy Prohecy rebuild

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #754929
December 15th 2019 10:07 am
December 15th 2019 10:07 am
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,477
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,477
Michigan
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

“You’ve been such exemplary statues,” he announced to them, “That I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want.” And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

“You still have fifteen more minutes,” said the angel, winking at them.

Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, “Great! Only this time…
you hold the pigeon down and I’ll crap on it’s head.”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #754947
December 16th 2019 9:43 am
December 16th 2019 9:43 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
rofl


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
77 chevy Prohecy rebuild

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #755101
December 22nd 2019 8:37 am
December 22nd 2019 8:37 am
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,312
East Brady, PA
M
Meanmachine Offline
veteran
Meanmachine  Offline
veteran
M
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,312
East Brady, PA
A warning to all >>>>>>>>>

Be careful about drinking and driving as we are getting close to Christmas. Quite rightly, police are out checking on people.

Last night I went our for a few drinks. Cocktails, then wine. (Not a good idea).

However, knowing I was over the limit, I took the bus back home.

We passed a police check point and I could see they were pulling over drivers and giving them breath tests. They waved the bus past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a surprise as I’d never driven a bus before and I’m not even sure where I got it from.

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #755111
December 22nd 2019 4:37 pm
December 22nd 2019 4:37 pm
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,870
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
rofl awesome!


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
77 chevy Prohecy rebuild

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