Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,683 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,683 Likes: 172 |
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: May 2018 Posts: 2,397 Likes: 64 veteran | veteran Joined: May 2018 Posts: 2,397 Likes: 64 | All my jokes are borderline elementary circa 1973 and just plain bad so keep them coming.
When in doubt..get the sawzall out..
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,683 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,683 Likes: 172 |
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?†The man said “No.â€
Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, “This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!â€
The man replied, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.â€
“That’s really sad,†said Bob, “but still, couldn’t you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?â€
“No,†the man replied, “they’re all at the funeral!†| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,683 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,683 Likes: 172 |
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,278 Likes: 552 | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,278 Likes: 552 |
SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS '93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB '92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, Gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner.!â€
The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. “Yes?†replied the teacher.
“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?†| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,683 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,683 Likes: 172 | nice
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
“You’ve been such exemplary statues,†he announced to them, “That I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want.†And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
“You still have fifteen more minutes,†said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, “Great! Only this time… you hold the pigeon down and I’ll crap on it’s head.†| | |
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