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Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #750802
July 20th 2019 9:35 pm
July 20th 2019 9:35 pm
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.”

Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what he wanted for Christmas. “I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake-up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage.”

Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage.

When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, “What did Santa bring you this year?”
Johnny replied,”I think I got a dog but I can’t find him”.

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #750803
July 20th 2019 10:27 pm
July 20th 2019 10:27 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 14,404
Van Diego California
frscke1 Offline
frscke1  Offline

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 14,404
Van Diego California
LMAO thats funny


SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO
ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN
ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS
'93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB
'92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #750806
July 21st 2019 12:40 am
July 21st 2019 12:40 am
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 646
mn
78VanMate Offline
addict
78VanMate  Offline
addict
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 646
mn
rofl

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #750831
July 22nd 2019 8:54 am
July 22nd 2019 8:54 am
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,817
Georgia, USA
CatFish Offline
carpal tunnel
CatFish  Offline
carpal tunnel
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,817
Georgia, USA
Earl and Bubba are are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "I think I'm gonna divorce the wife ..... she ain't spoke to me in over two months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long slow sip of beer and says, " Might oughta think again Bubba .... women like that are hard to find."


The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #750852
July 23rd 2019 7:18 am
July 23rd 2019 7:18 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,335
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,335
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
rofl nice!


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
77 chevy Prohecy rebuild
86 chevy Lickity Split delivery service
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #751448
August 08th 2019 6:07 pm
August 08th 2019 6:07 pm
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Harold’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.

After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asked, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?”

Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.”

“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Harold interrupted.

“I haven’t added them up yet.”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #751449
August 08th 2019 6:14 pm
August 08th 2019 6:14 pm
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,817
Georgia, USA
CatFish Offline
carpal tunnel
CatFish  Offline
carpal tunnel
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,817
Georgia, USA
I assume the service for Harold will be " closed gasket"....


The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #751487
August 09th 2019 7:14 pm
August 09th 2019 7:14 pm
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,335
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,335
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
Yep lol


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
77 chevy Prohecy rebuild
86 chevy Lickity Split delivery service
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #751491
August 09th 2019 8:38 pm
August 09th 2019 8:38 pm
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 116
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Just4fun1991 Offline
member
Just4fun1991  Offline
member
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 116
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
This guy has always dreamed of owning a Chevy Conversion Van. One day he has
finally saved enough money, so he goes down to the dealer. After he picks
up the perfect bike, the dealer tells him about an old vanner trick that
will keep the chrome on his new van free from rust.

The dealer tells him that all he has to do is to keep a jar of
Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains and
everything will be fine. He happily pays for the bike and leaves.

After a couple of months he meets a lady and she asks him to take her
home to meet her parents over dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set.
At the appointed time he picks her up on his van and they ride to her
parents' house.

Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that
whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After a delicious
dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to speak and
get stuck doing the dishes. After a long 15 minutes the young man
decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses the girl
in front of her family. No one says a word.

Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of
everyone. No one says a word. Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs
her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. No one
says a word.

By now he is thinking of what to do next when he hears thunder in the
distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his new Chevy van, so
he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline.

And the father shouts, 'Okay damn it, I'll do the dishes.'



Last edited by Just4fun1991; August 09th 2019 9:53 pm.
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #751592
August 13th 2019 2:44 pm
August 13th 2019 2:44 pm
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 116
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Just4fun1991 Offline
member
Just4fun1991  Offline
member
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 116
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
‘OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot..

'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going braless
pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action'
means you don't need to take any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky'
means you find your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter'
means not getting up to use the bathroom.

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