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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #749384 June 09th 2019 9:24 pm
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pooh-bah
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Two Seals boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, A Green Beret got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Seals. The Green Beret kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Seal in the window seat said,”I think I’ll get up and get a coke.”

“No problem,” said the Green Beret, “I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Seal picked up the Green Beret’s boot and spit in it.

When the Green Beret returned with the coke, the other Seal said, “That looks good, I think I’ll have one too.”

Again, the Green Beret obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Seal picked up the other boot and spit in it.

The Green Beret returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Green Beret slipped his feet into his boots and knew immediately what had happened.

“How long must this go on?” the Green Beret asked. “This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in boots and pissing in cokes?”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #749397 June 10th 2019 7:53 am
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rofl nice!


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet.
Club Vannerz.
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #749404 June 10th 2019 9:25 am
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W
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Oh Dyno Dave, you've done it again. Glad it was Folgers and not a tall glass of milk, Brother. Just zactly what this Old Dog needed on a gray Monday. Love your Show!

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #749789 June 18th 2019 12:55 pm
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pooh-bah
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My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore...so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

========================================

A farmer strolls over to visit his neighbor, and finds him dancing, naked, in the barn in front of the farm equipment.

The farmer gasps, "Whoa! What are you doing?!"

His neighbor replies, "Well, me and the wife haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately, and our therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #749915 June 21st 2019 10:28 pm
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pooh-bah
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Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.

“Where do you live?” asked the operator.

Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.”

The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?

“There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, “How ’bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #749934 June 23rd 2019 6:42 am
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rofl


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet.
Club Vannerz.
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #749941 June 23rd 2019 8:17 pm
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pooh-bah
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A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end.

That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he was so drunk that he didn’t know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.

The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.

“Well, you really tied one on last night,” she said. “Where’d you go?”

“I worked late,” he said, “and I stopped off for a couple of beers.”

“A couple of beers? That’s a laugh,” she replied. “You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?”

“What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?”

“Well,” she replied, “my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror.”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #749954 June 24th 2019 4:17 pm
Joined: Feb 2002
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Old Timer
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lol nice!


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet.
Club Vannerz.
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #750254 July 04th 2019 7:50 pm
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pooh-bah
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An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?”

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the “birds and the bees.” When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

The father asked her, “Why did you ask this question?”

The little girl replied, “Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.”

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