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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748054
May 06th 2019 7:29 am
May 06th 2019 7:29 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,342
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,342
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
rofl good one!


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748334
May 13th 2019 11:05 am
May 13th 2019 11:05 am
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
A salesman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when he sees a Navajo man hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the Navajo man climbs in.
During their small talk, the Navajo man glances surreptitiously at a brown bag on the front seat between them.

“If you’re wondering what’s in the bag,” offers the salesman, “it’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife.”
The Navajo man is silent for awhile, nods several times and says, “Good trade.”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748357
May 14th 2019 8:07 am
May 14th 2019 8:07 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,342
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,342
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
lol


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
77 chevy Prohecy rebuild
86 chevy Lickity Split delivery service
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748365
May 14th 2019 8:28 am
May 14th 2019 8:28 am
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
A Loan for Kermit

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.” Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is this?”

(You’re going to love this)

(A masterpiece)

(Wait for it)

The bank manager looks back at her and says…”It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748540
May 17th 2019 6:12 pm
May 17th 2019 6:12 pm
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper,

“Please wake me at 5:00 am.”

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed … it said…

“It is 5:00am; wake up.”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748552
May 18th 2019 7:39 am
May 18th 2019 7:39 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,342
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
newkirkinc1 Offline
Old Timer
newkirkinc1  Offline
Old Timer
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 26,342
Pittsburgh,Pa USA
rofl Hell yes!


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van
Wrangler go cart Van
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Vannerz
77 chevy Prohecy rebuild
86 chevy Lickity Split delivery service
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748585
May 19th 2019 10:39 am
May 19th 2019 10:39 am
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description.

She tells them he’s 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him.

The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, “You can’t believe her. He’s 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face.”

The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report.

She replies, “Just because I reported him missing, doesn’t mean I wanted him back!”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748676
May 21st 2019 10:31 am
May 21st 2019 10:31 am
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was her brother.

When the mother came out of her coma to find she had given birth and that her brother had named the twins, she became very worried, because he wasn’t a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them something absurd or stupid.

When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins.

He said, “The first one was a girl.”

The mother: “What did you name her?!?”

Brother: “Denise!”

The Mom: “Oh, wow, that’s not bad! What about the second one?”

Brother: “The second one was a boy.”

The Mom: “Oh, and what did you name him?”

Brother: “Denephew.”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748872
May 24th 2019 8:31 pm
May 24th 2019 8:31 pm
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
Dyno_Dave Offline
pooh-bah
Dyno_Dave  Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,457
Michigan
A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the man replied.

“You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained. “But I did slow down!” the guy argued.

The cop shook his head. “You are required to stop. That’s why they’re called stop signs.”

The man started to get belligerent. “Stop, slow down — what’s the difference?”

The cop pulled out his baton. “I can show you. I’m going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down.”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread [Re: GhostRyder] #748876
May 24th 2019 9:56 pm
May 24th 2019 9:56 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 14,404
Van Diego California
frscke1 Offline
frscke1  Offline

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 14,404
Van Diego California
LMAO ! ! thats funny ... you want me to stop or slow down ...lol


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