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| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson.
It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits … you name it.
Meanwhile, Grandpa is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, “Easy, William, we won’t be long … easy, boy.â€
Another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say, “It’s okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.â€
At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart and Grandpa says again in a controlled voice, “William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay cool, William.â€
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.
She says to the elderly man, “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa.â€
“Thanks,†said the grandpa, “but I’m William. The little shit’s name is Kevin!†| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 |
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | A Californian winery managed to create a new type of wine by crossing Pinot Blanc with Pinot Grigot.
As a side effect, it reduces the number of times people need to get up to pee during the night.
It is being marketed in retirement homes around the world as Pinot More! | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: May 2018 Posts: 2,397 Likes: 64 veteran | veteran Joined: May 2018 Posts: 2,397 Likes: 64 | Come on..lol on the other hand hook me up.lol
When in doubt..get the sawzall out..
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 |
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 2,286 Likes: 153 veteran | veteran Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 2,286 Likes: 153 | Shady Pines? or Happy Acres! Sign me up. Metered drip. Red wine spills are messy! | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | George goes to the doctor after getting some very bad news about his condition.
Doctor: “Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live.â€
George: “Doctor, what on Earth are you saying?â€, clearly shocked.
“What can I do to live at least a little longer? I don’t have any family but I really want to finish all the tv shows I’m watching.â€
Doctor: “Well, do you eat greasy and fried food?â€
George: “Yes.â€
Doctor: “Stop doing that.â€
George: “If I’ll live longer, sure!â€
Doctor: “Do you drink sodas and eat fast food?â€
George: “Yes.â€
Doctor: “Stop doing that.â€
George: “If it allows me to live longer, sure.â€
Doctor: “Do you stay up late?â€
George: “Most nights.â€
Doctor: “Stop doing that.â€
George: “Alright, done.â€
Doctor: “Do you have sex often?â€
George: “Yes. A lot.â€
Doctor: “Stop doing that.â€
George: “Well, I guess, if it means living longer.â€
Doctor: “Do you smoke?â€
George: “Yes.â€
Doctor: “Stop doing that.â€
George: “If it allows me to live longer, I will.â€
Doctor: “Do you drink?â€
George: “Yes…â€
Doctor: “Stop doing that.â€
George: “OK Doctor, but you didn’t tell me, if I do all the things you told me to do, how much longer will I live?â€
Doctor: “You’ll still only live a week… but it will seem like a decade.†| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,286 Likes: 558 | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,286 Likes: 558 | LOL NIce ... Dave thanks for the smiles N laughs ..
SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS '93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB '92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 | Very nice.
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | |
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