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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #747156 April 09th 2019 1:08 pm
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pooh-bah
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pooh-bah
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A teacher asks a student:

“What kind of woman would you like to be with when you’re all grown up?”

“A woman like the moon!” Answers the kid.

“That’s beautiful,” breathes the teacher, “what a choice! Because you’d like her to be beautiful and radiant like the moon?”

“No, I’d like her to appear at night and disappear come morning!”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #747221 April 10th 2019 6:53 pm
Joined: Feb 2002
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Likes: 172
Old Timer
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rofl Good one


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet.
Club Vannerz.
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #747229 April 10th 2019 8:24 pm
Joined: Sep 2005
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Likes: 234
carpal tunnel
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carpal tunnel
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Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100-years-old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "The poor dear, he'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along."

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #747241 April 11th 2019 7:47 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 32,696
Likes: 172
Old Timer
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rofl nice one!


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet.
Club Vannerz.
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #747474 April 19th 2019 1:29 pm
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,692
Likes: 32
pooh-bah
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pooh-bah
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Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:

BFF: Best Friend Fainted

BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered by Medicare

FWB: Friend with Beta-blockers

LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #747475 April 19th 2019 1:31 pm
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,692
Likes: 32
pooh-bah
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pooh-bah
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A husband and wife go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child. They are well dressed and well spoken, and the social workers are quite impressed with them. However, when asked about their profession, the couple said that they run a circus.

Hearing that made the social workers raise an eyebrow. It didn’t sound so good to them, an environment with animals, that is moving all the time? Doubts were raised about their suitability as parents.

So the couple produce photos of their 55 foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a large and spotless nursery. The social workers are happy to see this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple’s care.

The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, “We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills.”

Next though, the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.

This time the wife explains, “Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, child welfare, proper nutrition and exercise – all that a child requires.”

Their questions met with such excellent answers, the social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, “What ages were you looking to adopt?”

The husband says, “It doesn’t really matter, as long as they fit in a cannon.”

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #747490 April 20th 2019 8:15 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 32,696
Likes: 172
Old Timer
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rofl figures lol


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet.
Club Vannerz.
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #747526 April 21st 2019 7:18 pm
Joined: Nov 2013
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Likes: 32
pooh-bah
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These 10 Easter jokes are perfect for sharing with friends and family over a cup of tea and a plate of hot cross buns. Just be sure to swallow before the punchline.

Q. What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. A Hot Cross bunny.

Q. What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
A. Thistle have to do!

Q. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
A. Eggs (X) marks the spot!

Q. How do you catch the Easter Bunny?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a carrot!

Q. Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
A. To prove he wasn’t chicken!

Q. Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be 12 inches long?
A. Because then it would be a foot!

Q. What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A. A receding hareline.

Q. What day does an egg hate the most?
A. Fry-days.

Q. Waitress, what’s this hare doing in my soup?
A. Looks like back stroke.

Q. How do bunnies stay healthy?
A. Eggsercise

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #747538 April 22nd 2019 7:29 am
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 32,696
Likes: 172
Old Timer
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Nice ones Dave.


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet.
Club Vannerz.
vanninvanner@comcast.net
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