Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,759 Likes: 175 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,759 Likes: 175 | very nice!
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | HOLIDAY TEAR JERKER
Frank and Dianne were in a local shopping center just before Christmas. Dianne suddenly noticed that Frank was missing, and as they had a lot to do, she called him on his cell phone.Dianne asked, "Frank, where are you? You know that we have lots to do."
Frank said, "Do you remember the jewelry store we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with a diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time, and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down Dianne's cheek, and she got all choked up. "Yes, I do remember the shop" she replied.
"Well, I'm in the Hooter's next to that." | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 2,320 Likes: 156 veteran | veteran Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 2,320 Likes: 156 | Fast forward one year:
It's a Dianne gets the house the kids the car and half of Frank's paycheck kind of Christmas!
Well done as always Dave. Laughter is the best medicine!
BBC Blue 1990 Chevy G30 L19 7.4 EXT Church Van, maternity division DogVan 2.0 1996 Chevy G30 EXT Cargo. 5.7 Back in the Smallblock again. G30. All the good stuff. Yes. In 1996 Flint produced 16,239 matching make and models of Chevy G30 vans. https://www.compnine.com/mycar.php?id=530e2410271dd67a0354482f9eb1c6b3 Cabin Cruiser '94 Dodge B350 www.xplorermotorhome.com/Xplorer MH model 230 230 hp LA series 360 Wedge MPI 5.9 A518 OD auto Finally, Dodge figures EFI out. Old vans are getting scarce! | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,312 Likes: 569 | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,312 Likes: 569 | A few laughs: . every time I get settled down with my food, i remember i left my drink in the freakin' kitchen. . Home is where your WiFi connects automatically. . Depresso- the feeling you get when you've run out of coffee! . Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer 'selective participation.' . the 5 second rule for dropping food on the floor does not work if you have a 2 second dog. . i went out for a jog and heard clapping. Then i realized it was only my butt cheeks cheering me on.
SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS '93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB '92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,759 Likes: 175 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,759 Likes: 175 | Good ones
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | Definitely understand the first and the next to last last one. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | HOLLYWOOD SQUARES
These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it..
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected..
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q.According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,759 Likes: 175 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,759 Likes: 175 | That's great and a lot of typing
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,312 Likes: 569 | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,312 Likes: 569 | That's great and a lot of typing Thats copy & paste ....lol
SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS '93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB '92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB | | |
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