Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | Yeah, even though I knew it was coming, I went off the rails at #2, and had the cow drinking milk! So I was done early. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | Q: What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? A: Firetruck.
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An American, a Vietnamese, a Mexican, a Brazilian, a Canadian, a German, a Turk, and a Russian walk into a fancy restaurant. When they got to the front desk, they were kicked out because they did not have a Thai.
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Q: What's Forrest Gump’s password? A: 1forrest1
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There are two muffins in an oven. The muffin on the left turns to the other and says, "Man, it's getting hot in here." The one on the right then says, "Holy sh*t, a talking muffin!"
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Q: Why did the girl wear glasses in math class? A: It improves di-vision.
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Q: How can you get high underwater? A: Sea weed
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Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? A: Its OK. He woke up.
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| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 2,320 Likes: 156 veteran | veteran Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 2,320 Likes: 156 | Does anyone else remember naps at school? At your desk? Naps are great! Naps in a Van are better! Such a useful skill. So glad they taught us that in school.
Not sure why it took so long to realize that would have been a great comback when caught napping in class.
"Well good morning Sunshine, glad you could join us."
"Please excuse me Teacher, but after all, didn't we learn that in School?
"Well, That's no EXCUSE."
"It's not an excuse, it's a REASON..."
BBC Blue 1990 Chevy G30 L19 7.4 EXT Church Van, maternity division DogVan 2.0 1996 Chevy G30 EXT Cargo. 5.7 Back in the Smallblock again. G30. All the good stuff. Yes. In 1996 Flint produced 16,239 matching make and models of Chevy G30 vans. https://www.compnine.com/mycar.php?id=530e2410271dd67a0354482f9eb1c6b3 Cabin Cruiser '94 Dodge B350 www.xplorermotorhome.com/Xplorer MH model 230 230 hp LA series 360 Wedge MPI 5.9 A518 OD auto Finally, Dodge figures EFI out. Old vans are getting scarce! | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Friday's, I fish! | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,308 Likes: 568 | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,308 Likes: 568 |
SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS '93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB '92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,759 Likes: 175 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,759 Likes: 175 |
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Nov 2013 Posts: 3,692 Likes: 32 | An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.
He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?" | | |
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