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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #727944 September 18th 2017 6:05 pm
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pooh-bah
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Q: If a plane crashed on the Canada/USA border, where would the survivors be buried?
A: You don't bury survivors.

------------------------------------

Q: Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the utter.

-------------------------------------

Q: Why are atoms Catholic?
A: Because they have mass.

--------------------------------------

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #727962 September 18th 2017 9:06 pm
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Put a batt in your hearing aid ...... LOL

I had a aunt that did that A LOT ..... thought she was quite too but she could empty a room quick when you heard the trumpet blow !


SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO
ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN
ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS
'93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB
'92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #728121 September 22nd 2017 4:23 pm
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pooh-bah
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A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,

"Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,

"Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up.

Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.

I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?

I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #728219 September 25th 2017 9:36 pm
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pooh-bah
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I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

==============================

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

==============================

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

==============================

I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #728225 September 25th 2017 10:24 pm
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My day just got better .... lol .... thanks Dave for your persistence in honoring Dr. Bob.


SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO
ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN
ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS
'93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB
'92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #728236 September 26th 2017 8:47 am
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pooh-bah
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Thank you sir. I really appreciate that. Happy to do it. He always made my day with joke, so it's my turn to return the favor.

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #728249 September 26th 2017 3:47 pm
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Old Timer
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Very good and keep it going for DR Bob


Jim & Lucy Newkirk
1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van
2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet.
Club Vannerz.
vanninvanner@comcast.net
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #728256 September 26th 2017 4:51 pm
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pooh-bah
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A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy. When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious looking doctors and asks nervously "Is there a problem?" The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his eyes "I'm afraid so...I'm sorry but your notes got mixed up and we've given you a sex change rather than a vasectomy"

The patient is devastated and shockingly replies "Do you mean to say I'll never experience another erection"

The surgeon pauses for a moment then says "Well, you might, but it won't be yours."

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #728376 September 29th 2017 9:36 pm
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pooh-bah
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Henny Youngman Quotes

[Linked Image]

Wife Jokes

Youngman's wife, Sadie Cohen, was often the butt of his jokes but in reality she often toured with him, the two were very close and were married for over 60 years.

I miss my wife's cooking - as often as possible.

My wife said to me, “For our anniversary, I want to go somewhere I've never been before.” I said, “Try the kitchen!'"

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

My wife is an earth sign. I’m a water sign. Together we make mud.

When my wife asked me to start a garden, the first thing I dug up was an excuse.

My wife will buy anything marked down. She brought home two dresses and an escalator.

I haven't talked to my wife in three days. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I took my wife to a wife-swapping party. I had to throw in some cash.

A woman wrapped herself in Saran Wrap to take off some weight. Her husband comes home, sees her, and says, "Leftovers again."

My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours, and that was only for the estimate.

My wife’s cooking is fit for a king. "Here, King!"

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.



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