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| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | There is a knock on the pearly gates.
Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standing there.
Saint Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears.
A moment later there’s another knock.
Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, but the man disappears once again.
“Hey, are you playing games with me?” Saint Peter calls after him, rather annoyed.
“No” the man’s distant voice replies anxiously. “They are trying to resuscitate me.”
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 Maniac | Maniac Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 | | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | Two avid hunters take a hunter's safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air.
Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost.
One says to the other, "What shall we do?"
The other says, I know fire three shots in the air and someone may come to find us.
He fires off three shots, and they wait two hours. No sign of help.
What shall we do? Fire off three more shots. So he does. Three hours later there is no response and it is getting dark. The one says "Shall we try again?"
The other says, "I guess not... I only have two arrows left...
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,286 Likes: 559 | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,286 Likes: 559 | | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 Maniac | Maniac Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 | | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | Once there was this young who discovered a treasure trove.
Amongst the old and valuable things he noticed a worn out lamp.
He rubbed the lamp and out came the genie.
"Yes master, express your wish", the genie howled.
The man said, "Genie get me a grand villa where I can live happily ever after with my girlfriend".
The genie looked at the man and said, "Well, if I could make a villa like that, then why the hell do you suppose I live in this stuffy worn out lamp?"
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 Maniac | Maniac Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 | | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | A customer at a counter of a garden ornament shop said to the cashier, “Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of those sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers.”
The cashier replied “that’ll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten for the flamingos, six for the sunflowers, and an apology for my wife!”
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 Old Timer | Old Timer Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 32,696 Likes: 172 | Oh My
Jim & Lucy Newkirk 1965 Chevy Bad Influence 1981 Chevy-the Love Shack 2012 Chevy Van , 2020 chevy van 2020 Chevy van Sapphire Sweet. Club Vannerz. vanninvanner@comcast.net | | |
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