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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #662698 June 02nd 2014 11:21 am
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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Two bats are hanging in their cave. One turns to the other and says, "Oh, I'm really thirsty for some fresh blood."

The other bat is amazed and says, "Well, it’s a bit late. Daylight is almost here, and we can't be exposed to any light - you know we'll die." "Yeah, I know," says the first bat, "but I'm really starving for it."

So he flies out of the cave and returns five minutes later with blood dripping from his mouth.

"You lucky thing. Where'd you find blood that quick?" asked the second bat.

"You see that tree over there in the distance?" mumbled the bat, his mouth full of blood.

"Yeah, I think I do!"

"Well, I didn't."


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #662706 June 02nd 2014 3:32 pm
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 194
member
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Posts: 194

Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school in Dublin.

"What's your name?" asked the teacher.

"Mohammad," he replied.


"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Sean."

Mohammad returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked.


"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Sean."

"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"

And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, who beat him again.


The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises.

"What happened to you, Sean?" she asked.

"Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two fricking Arabs."

















Political correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by a CLEAN end.
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
doc yukon #662718 June 02nd 2014 7:02 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
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Posts: 12,847
........... lol


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Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #662759 June 03rd 2014 2:53 am
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,847
Likes: 42
W
veteran
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W
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So BB King's birthday is fast approaching and his Lady friend wants to do something special for him.

So She goes out, and Gets A letter B tattooed on Each ample Butt Cheek.

After a birthday Dinner she teases him a bit and Saunters upstairs having given him instructions to wait a few minutes before following.

So She is upstairs alone and decides it would be best if the first thing he saw when opening the door, was her new tattoos, So she gets on her knees and presents herself to the doorway hoping for the best possible reaction.

BB finishes his drink, climbs the stairs, opens the door, has a look, and Says:

"Who the Heck is BoB?"


Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #662763 June 03rd 2014 6:14 am
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
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rofl


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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #662789 June 03rd 2014 12:36 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly."I would do anything to pass this exam," she says.She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything..."He returns her gaze, "Anything?""Anything."His voice softens, "Anything?""Anything," she repeats again. His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you ... study?"


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #662824 June 03rd 2014 6:31 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
Maniac
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Posts: 12,847
....... rofl


[Linked Image]




Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #662947 June 04th 2014 8:12 pm
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 32,696
Likes: 172
Old Timer
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Very good Bob! lol


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1965 Chevy Bad Influence
1981 Chevy-the Love Shack
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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #663261 June 08th 2014 2:17 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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Posts: 3,772
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Rhode Island State house in Providence, one from Cranston, and another from North Kingstown and the third, Exeter. They go with a State house official to examine the fence.

The North Kingstown contractor takes out a tape measure and does some Measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Exeter contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and then says I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Cranston contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the State House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Cranston contractor whispers back, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Exeter to fix the fence."


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
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