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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #659348 April 23rd 2014 1:15 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
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Posts: 3,772
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"


Last Joke till after Doc & dees warm up party unless I can get internet. van

Last edited by DrBob; April 23rd 2014 1:18 pm.

The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #660366 May 04th 2014 1:50 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her.

Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about six months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears.

Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!"


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #660367 May 04th 2014 2:14 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked to another.

“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.”


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #660440 May 05th 2014 3:11 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Men who are bald at front of their heads are good thinkers. Men who are bald at the back of their heads are good lovers. Men who are bald at front and back think they are good lovers.


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #660461 May 05th 2014 6:32 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
Maniac
Offline
Maniac
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
------- grin


[Linked Image]




Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #660528 May 06th 2014 1:40 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A fifth grader class was on an educational trip. As they rode along in the school bus, the teacher noticed that one boy was lying facedown in the aisle of the bus with his hands over his eyes. “Why are you lying in the aisle like that.”

“Well,” said the boy, “if you don’t see anything, you don’t have to write anything.”


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #660630 May 07th 2014 3:59 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
It is truly said that children brighten a home - they never turn the lights off.


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #660895 May 12th 2014 1:11 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital,

near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition

appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something

to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and

Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then

suddenly died.

The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that

time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that

he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred

died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before

he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure

there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Please step to your left -- you're

standing on my oxygen tube!"


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #661029 May 13th 2014 4:32 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy..."


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
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