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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
Greywolf #658129 April 09th 2014 8:49 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
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Good stuff DrBob.......... lol


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Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #658295 April 11th 2014 2:38 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
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One day while at her job as a bank loan officer, Patty Black, had a frog hop onto her desk and say, "I would like to apply for a lily-pad improvement loan." Patty looked incredulously at the frog and said, "I'm sorry, we don't loan money to frogs." To which the frog replied, "I have collateral," as he handed her a small ceramic trinket. Not wanting to be impolite, Patty said, "I don't know. I'll have to talk to the bank manager."

She walked back to the manager's office and said, "There is a frog out here, asking for a lily-pad improvement loan, and this trinket is all he has for collateral." The bank manager picked up the trinket and looked at it carefully. Then smiling he turned to Patty and said, "Why it's a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan."


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #658359 April 12th 2014 2:04 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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Posts: 3,772
Eight men have been at a mental hospital for a period of time and are being tested to find out how they are progressing in order for them to leave the institution. The doctor in charge takes them all into a room and with a ball pen draws a door on the wall and asks each one of the patients to try and open the door for him as part of the test. Seven of them rushed out and attempted to open the door on the wall. The doctor was disappointed with the results but never the less call on the last one who was still sitting down and asked him why didn’t he stand up and try to open the door with the others. The eighth man replied: “because I was holding the key to the door”


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #658409 April 13th 2014 10:14 am
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 371
enthusiast
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Posts: 371
A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:
"To My Dear Wife,You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset. I shall be back home before midnight."
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:"
My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the same situation,
although with one small difference. 18 goes into 54 a lot more times
than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be back home until sometime tomorrow."


The 1980 Dodge B-series van that brought me here. It sat untouched in a garage since 1989! I sold it back to the very same guy who drove it 30 years ago for Mobile radio. Sometimes you just have to put a van where it belongs. Glad to see her getting the love it deserves.
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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #658412 April 13th 2014 10:41 am
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Remember to always give 100% at work
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5%on Friday



The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #658453 April 13th 2014 5:41 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
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Posts: 12,847
Originally Posted by DrBob
Remember to always give 100% at work
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5%on Friday



..... lol the American way unfortunately..... grin


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Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #658754 April 16th 2014 11:04 am
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?

Joe: I won it in a race.

Bill: How many people participated in it?

Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #658841 April 17th 2014 11:08 am
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.

She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"

Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'"


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #658849 April 17th 2014 3:33 pm
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 657
Likes: 1
addict
Offline
addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 657
Likes: 1
rofl cheers


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