Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 Maniac | Maniac Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 | ...... Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans ............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION".................. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Aug 2002 Posts: 18,552 Likes: 137 Supreme Master | Supreme Master Joined: Aug 2002 Posts: 18,552 Likes: 137 | Arianrhod:2003 Chevy Astro Black Magic: 1985 Dodge B-250 Serenity:1985 Chevy G-20 The Outcast:1983 Ford club wagon Luna 1974 VW bay window transporter Freedom:1990 Ford E-150(parts van) Outcast Vanners van club Support your local 2% | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jan 2014 Posts: 57 journeyman | journeyman Joined: Jan 2014 Posts: 57 | The Van House in Buckroe Beach, VA and my Dads junk yards during the 1970s started it all for me..... Vans. Member of NOVA Vans and South East Van Council
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | A man goes to the police station wanting to speak to the burglar who broke into his house the night before. ‘You’ll get your chance in court,’ says the desk sergeant.
‘No, no, no! says the man. ‘I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!’
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jan 2014 Posts: 371 enthusiast | enthusiast Joined: Jan 2014 Posts: 371 |
The 1980 Dodge B-series van that brought me here. It sat untouched in a garage since 1989! I sold it back to the very same guy who drove it 30 years ago for Mobile radio. Sometimes you just have to put a van where it belongs. Glad to see her getting the love it deserves. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jan 2014 Posts: 371 enthusiast | enthusiast Joined: Jan 2014 Posts: 371 | A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some homework" The robot slaps the son. The son says "Ok ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story" The robot slaps the son again. Son says, "Ok ok, we were watching porn." Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father. The Mother laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." The robot slaps the mother.
The 1980 Dodge B-series van that brought me here. It sat untouched in a garage since 1989! I sold it back to the very same guy who drove it 30 years ago for Mobile radio. Sometimes you just have to put a van where it belongs. Glad to see her getting the love it deserves. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 657 Likes: 1 addict | addict Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 657 Likes: 1 | | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing.
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you and says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour
her a drink.
You open the door for her; pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her a ride, and then say,
"By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich."
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback!!!!
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage.
He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter.
The usher looks at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
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