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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #649434 January 22nd 2014 1:54 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.

She wanted to make sure that the camping ground was fully equipped, but didn't know quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself

to write the word "toilet" in her letter.

After much thought, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "Bathroom closet" but when she wrote it down, she still thought she was being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote the letter, and referred to the bathroom closet as the B.C.

"Does the camping ground have it's own B.C." is what she wrote.

Well, the camping ground owner wasn't a bit old fashioned, and he just couldn't figure out what the old lady was talking about, so he showed the letter around a few of the campers and the only thing they could come up with was that B.C. stood for Baptist Church, so he wrote the following reply.

Dear Madam,

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of our camping ground, and is capable of seating 250 people at one time.

I admit that it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of campers go there and many take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive nice and early and stay quite late.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that there is a special supper planned there to raise money to buy more seats so that everyone will be able to sit in comfort.

I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part, just that I am so busy most of the time.

As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort to go, especially in the cold weather. If you decide to come down to our camping ground perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you and introduce you to all the other folks.

Remember this is a very friendly community


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #649459 January 22nd 2014 5:35 pm
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
Supreme Master
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lol


Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!!
Never Stop Vannin'

Member of Break Away Vanners
Host of Spring Break
At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground

Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos
Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996
2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe
Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present
Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey
Host Club of Freeze Out
Certified Nats Judge
Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #649516 January 23rd 2014 5:13 am
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 18,536
Likes: 136
Supreme Master
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lol


[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]

Arianrhod:2003 Chevy Astro
Black Magic: 1985 Dodge B-250
Serenity:1985 Chevy G-20
The Outcast:1983 Ford club wagon
Luna 1974 VW bay window transporter
Freedom:1990 Ford E-150(parts van)
Outcast Vanners van club
Support your local 2%
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #649533 January 23rd 2014 12:18 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!" "Johnny," the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women." Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" "But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #649785 January 25th 2014 3:00 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day

while his wife stayed at home. He wanted her to see

what he went through each day, so he prayed :-

"Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours

of hard work, while my wife merely stays at home. I

want her to know what I go through, so please create a

trade in our bodies". God, in His infinite wisdom,

granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a

woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,

awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed

them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to

school, came home ..... picked up the dry cleaning,

took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to

draw money to pay the electricity and telephone bills.



He drove to the electricity company and the phone

company and paid the bills, went grocery shopping,

came home and put away the groceries. He cleaned the

cat's litter box and bathed the dog. By then it was

already 1:00 pm, so he hurried to make the beds, do

the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the

kitchen floor.

He rushed to the school to pick up the kids and got

into an argument with them on the way home which he

had to sort out in a gentle 'motherly' fashion. He set

out cookies and milk and got the kids organised to do

their homework, then set up the ironing board and was

able to watch a bit of TV while he did the ironing. By

then it was 4:30 pm, so he began peeling potatoes and

washed greens for salads. He prepared the chops and

fresh vegetables and got everything ready in time for

an early dinner.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the

dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put

them to bed. At 9:00 pm he was exhausted and although

his chores weren't finished for the day, he went to

bed where he was expected to make love, which he

managed to get through without complaining. The next

morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and

said :-

"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so

wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all

day. Please, O please, let us trade back!" The Lord,

in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you

have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change

things back to the way they were. You'll just have to

wait 9 months though, because you got pregnant last

night!!!"


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #650040 January 27th 2014 11:53 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 559
Offline
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 559

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO SET A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES; THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

THOUGHT for the day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.





SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO
ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN
ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS
'93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB
'92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #650060 January 28th 2014 9:13 am
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 18,536
Likes: 136
Supreme Master
Offline
Supreme Master
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 18,536
Likes: 136
lol


[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]

Arianrhod:2003 Chevy Astro
Black Magic: 1985 Dodge B-250
Serenity:1985 Chevy G-20
The Outcast:1983 Ford club wagon
Luna 1974 VW bay window transporter
Freedom:1990 Ford E-150(parts van)
Outcast Vanners van club
Support your local 2%
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #650063 January 28th 2014 12:09 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 559
Offline
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 559
"Come on copper just try to pit me" !


[Linked Image]


SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO
ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN
ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS
'93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB
'92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #650152 January 28th 2014 9:59 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 559
Offline
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 559
[Linked Image]

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