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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #645883 December 20th 2013 7:55 am
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 5,263
Likes: 1
Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
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Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
HELL NO !
He just yelled April Fool ! ... And that's when I shot him ... the little bastard.


starwars
tom wyckoff
interstellar space truckers

[Linked Image]

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
starwars #645884 December 20th 2013 8:01 am
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 657
Likes: 1
addict
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rofl rofl cheers


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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #645900 December 20th 2013 12:27 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #645926 December 20th 2013 4:57 pm
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 657
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Keep um coming DrBob,you give me a good laugh every day,Thanks.


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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #645942 December 20th 2013 5:46 pm
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
Supreme Master
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Supreme Master
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Posts: 18,213
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lol


Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!!
Never Stop Vannin'

Member of Break Away Vanners
Host of Spring Break
At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground

Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos
Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996
2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe
Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present
Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey
Host Club of Freeze Out
Certified Nats Judge
Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #646065 December 21st 2013 3:46 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Having shot a moose two Antartians began dragging it by the tail to their pick-up.

On the way they were stopped by a game warden. "Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said. When he saw that everything was in order he asked if he could give them some advice.

"Sure!" the hunters agreed.

"Well boys, I think that you would find it a lot easier to drag that moose by the horns and not the tail."

"Aye, O.K. and thanks," said the lads.

After about five minutes one said to the other, "Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier, eh?"

"Aye, you're right," said his friend, "but have you noticed that we are getting further away from the truck?"


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #646095 December 21st 2013 8:31 pm
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 657
Likes: 1
addict
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Posts: 657
Likes: 1
rofl cheers


[Linked Image]
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #646157 December 22nd 2013 8:38 am
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
Supreme Master
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
Originally Posted by DrBob
Having shot a moose two Antartians began dragging it by the tail to their pick-up.

On the way they were stopped by a game warden. "Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said. When he saw that everything was in order he asked if he could give them some advice.

"Sure!" the hunters agreed.

"Well boys, I think that you would find it a lot easier to drag that moose by the horns and not the tail."

"Aye, O.K. and thanks," said the lads.

After about five minutes one said to the other, "Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier, eh?"

"Aye, you're right," said his friend, "but have you noticed that we are getting further away from the truck?"


lol


Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!!
Never Stop Vannin'

Member of Break Away Vanners
Host of Spring Break
At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground

Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos
Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996
2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe
Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present
Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey
Host Club of Freeze Out
Certified Nats Judge
Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #646263 December 22nd 2013 7:05 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Little Johnny... Know It All


Little Johnny asks his mother her age.

She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."

Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.

Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."

The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"

To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.

On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.

Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!"

Last edited by DrBob; December 22nd 2013 7:05 pm.

The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
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