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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #633020 August 25th 2013 3:15 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor the doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father." So the married couple decided that they would try this. So the doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said "I feel okay turn it up a lot more" so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said "why don’t you just put it all on me cause I’m not feeling a thing" but the doctor warned them "this much could kill you if your not prepared", and the husband replied "I am ready "so the doctor turned the machine up to 100% but the husband didn’t fell a thing so they went home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mailman was dead on the front porch!


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #633032 August 25th 2013 6:13 pm
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
Supreme Master
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Supreme Master
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
lol


Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!!
Never Stop Vannin'

Member of Break Away Vanners
Host of Spring Break
At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground

Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos
Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996
2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe
Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present
Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey
Host Club of Freeze Out
Certified Nats Judge
Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #633188 August 26th 2013 8:24 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 558
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 558

"Daddy, how was I born?" 'Well son, Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: "You got Male!"

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #633189 August 26th 2013 8:26 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 558
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 558
A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The
Doctor asks: "What's the problem?"

The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband
seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."

The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your
husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing
it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he
either leaves the room or calms down."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and
reborn.

The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my
husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished,
and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"

The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your
mouth shut that does the trick".

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #633190 August 26th 2013 8:28 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 558
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Posts: 18,286
Likes: 558
God Loves Blondes


A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides

to ask God for help.

She begins to pray.. "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well.

Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car.. My children are starving.

I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can

get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....

"Sweetheart, work with Me on this......Buy a ticket."

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #633257 August 27th 2013 12:55 pm
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,855
Likes: 234
carpal tunnel
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carpal tunnel
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,855
Likes: 234
What deep thinkers men are... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the beer facilitated some deep thinking.

Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will sometimes say, "You know, it might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you will never hear a guy say, "You know, I think it would be great to get another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case. Time for another beer.

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
CatFish #633271 August 27th 2013 3:00 pm
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 36
T
newbie
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T
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 36
Amen To That!


Terry
1989 Econoline e150 conversion
4.9/c6 3.08 gears

[Linked Image]
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #633287 August 27th 2013 4:40 pm
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
Supreme Master
Offline
Supreme Master
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
lol


Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!!
Never Stop Vannin'

Member of Break Away Vanners
Host of Spring Break
At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground

Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos
Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996
2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe
Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present
Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey
Host Club of Freeze Out
Certified Nats Judge
Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #633312 August 27th 2013 6:34 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
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