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| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 Supreme Master | Supreme Master Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 |
Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!! Never Stop Vannin'
Member of Break Away Vanners Host of Spring Break At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground
Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996 2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey Host Club of Freeze Out Certified Nats Judge Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
had to arrest your own mother?"
He said: "Call for backup."
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 Supreme Master | Supreme Master Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 |
Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!! Never Stop Vannin'
Member of Break Away Vanners Host of Spring Break At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground
Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996 2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey Host Club of Freeze Out Certified Nats Judge Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 5,263 Likes: 1 Blendor Of Fine Schnapps | Blendor Of Fine Schnapps Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 5,263 Likes: 1 | What Equals 100 Percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 % ? Athletes who claim they're giving 110 %, for example. What does 100% mean? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Here's a mathematical formula that answers these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But , A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
Last edited by starwars; June 26th 2013 11:27 pm.
starwars tom wyckoff interstellar space truckers I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 Supreme Master | Supreme Master Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 | True
Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!! Never Stop Vannin'
Member of Break Away Vanners Host of Spring Break At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground
Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996 2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey Host Club of Freeze Out Certified Nats Judge Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... They must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... I must be a God!
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 Supreme Master | Supreme Master Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 | True
Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!! Never Stop Vannin'
Member of Break Away Vanners Host of Spring Break At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground
Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996 2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey Host Club of Freeze Out Certified Nats Judge Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 9,854 Likes: 8 Festerus Vannimus | Festerus Vannimus Joined: May 2007 Posts: 9,854 Likes: 8 | An old miner had been out mining for a couple of weeks and came into town to get some food, take a bath, and have a drink. He tied up his mule to the hitching rail outside of the saloon.
A young cowboy who had been drinking whiskey all day came out of the saloon and seethe old man. The young drunk cowboy said to the old miner: Hey old man have you ever learned to dance? The old man replied: No aint never felt the need to. The young kid took out his pistols and started shooting the ground at his feet, the crowd of people started laughing as the old man danced in the dirt trying to dodge the bullets. The young drunk put his 6 shooters back in his holsters and turned around to go back in the bar.
At that time the old miner reached over to his mule and pulled out his 12 gauge shotgun. The crowd grew silent as the old man cocked back the hammers and the clicks rang thru the silent desert air. As the young cowboy turned around he was staring down both barrels of a 12 gauge shotgun. The old man ask the kid: Hey boy have you ever kissed a mules Ass? The kid gulped then replied: No but I've always wanted to!
My van : 1989 Ford E-150 Econoline, currently named “WOLF-DEN IIâ€
Founder & President of Sooner or Later United Truckers and PROUD TO BE A S.L.U.T. ! !
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Apr 2013 Posts: 2,427 veteran | veteran Joined: Apr 2013 Posts: 2,427 |
96 Dodge B3500 Maxi 5.9 97 Dodge B3500 Maxi 5.9 My train of thought was derailed -- there were no survivors
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