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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #619221 June 02nd 2013 4:30 pm
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That is a good one, my knees tel me the same thing.

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
Hoagie #619228 June 02nd 2013 5:14 pm
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lol


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............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #619471 June 03rd 2013 9:44 pm
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Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
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An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the
yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is a couple sex? The grandfather
was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if
she's old enough to know to ask the question then she's old enough
to get a straight answer.

Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all
about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities that go
along with it.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her
mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look on
her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question,
honey?

The little girl replied, "Well, Grandma says to tell you that dinner will
be ready in just a couple sec


starwars
tom wyckoff
interstellar space truckers

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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #619475 June 03rd 2013 10:04 pm
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Ooops


SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO
ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN
ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS
'93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB
'92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #619478 June 03rd 2013 10:12 pm
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Q: What do have when there are two small green balls in your hand?

A: Kermit The Frogs complete attention.

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #619480 June 03rd 2013 10:22 pm
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Who Is Jack Schitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?


We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'


Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.


Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.


Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and
owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.


In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious
couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.


Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout.


After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living
with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known
as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.


Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.


Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony.



The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens nuptials.


The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.


Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.


He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.


Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.


Sincerely,


Crock O. Schitt

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #619482 June 03rd 2013 10:30 pm
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A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes .

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.'

'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
frscke1 #619487 June 03rd 2013 10:50 pm
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Originally Posted by frscke1
Who Is Jack Schitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?


We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'


Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.


Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.


Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and
owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.


In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious
couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.


Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout.


After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe
Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living
with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known
as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.


Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.


Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony.



The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens nuptials.


The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.


Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.


He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.


Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.


Sincerely,


Crock O. Schitt


Now that is funny ! rofl


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Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #619492 June 03rd 2013 11:24 pm
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Most people do not recognize the long lost third cousin.Stew P.Id Aze Schitt.Just kidding good stuff.

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