Vannin' Home Forums General Discussion Off Topic Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread

Out of the mouth of babes....

There were 3 friends stranded in an island. Exploring the island, the 3 men found a bottle so they opened it. A genie came out, and she said that she would grant them 3 wishes. The first man said, "I wish I was with my family" then poof he was with his family. The second guy said "I wish I was in a bar with my friends" then poof he was gone. The third guy was feeling bad and the genie asked, "What's wrong?" The man said, I'm lonely I wish my friends were here. Poof, his two friends were back in the island.

Little Lucy was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Lucy, who created the universe?" When Lucy didn't stir, Little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty! " shouted Lucy and the teacher said, "Very good," and Lucy fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Lucy, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But, Lucy didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Lucy and the teacher said, "Very good," and Lucy fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Lucy a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin. This time Lucy jumped up and shouted,

"If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?

A: Look for sesame seed buns.

Perplexed White House staffers see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties pinned to his sleeve.

As the day wears on, several VIPs go in and out of the Oval Office, each one leaving with a puzzled expression.

Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary, walks into the office and gently closes the door behind her. "Mr. President," she says. "We're all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a woman's pair of panties on your arm."

"Oh no," the President grins, "it's the patch. I'm trying to quit."

Thats funnny....The patch on his arm, Cigars in his top pocket & Monica in the waiting room ....lol

An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. “I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.” “That can’t be” fumed the old man, “you don’t know what you are doing.” “How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor. “Well it’s quite obvious,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exact same age!”