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| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 Supreme Master | Supreme Master Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 |
Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!! Never Stop Vannin'
Member of Break Away Vanners Host of Spring Break At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground
Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996 2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey Host Club of Freeze Out Certified Nats Judge Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 5,263 Likes: 1 Blendor Of Fine Schnapps | Blendor Of Fine Schnapps Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 5,263 Likes: 1 |
Little Johnny went to his first school dance. He didn't know if he would ever get up the nerve to ask a girl out to dance.
As the night went on everybody was dancing except Little Johnny. He just sat in the corner looking at everyone having fun.
Finally as the last song started to play Little Johnny spotted two very cute girls across the room sitting at their table. He walked over and asked one if she would like to dance. She looked him up and down and said "I am sorry but I am very particular with whom I dance with."
Little Johnny being the smart boy that he is, replied, "You can damned will see that I am not."
starwars tom wyckoff interstellar space truckers I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 5,263 Likes: 1 Blendor Of Fine Schnapps | Blendor Of Fine Schnapps Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 5,263 Likes: 1 | Male Translations for Women
These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...
"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."
starwars tom wyckoff interstellar space truckers I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 Supreme Master | Supreme Master Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 18,213 Likes: 2 |
Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!! Never Stop Vannin'
Member of Break Away Vanners Host of Spring Break At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground
Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996 2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey Host Club of Freeze Out Certified Nats Judge Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 5,263 Likes: 1 Blendor Of Fine Schnapps | Blendor Of Fine Schnapps Joined: Dec 2002 Posts: 5,263 Likes: 1 | Amish Woman
An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her.
"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."
"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."
"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too."
"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home." True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the broken reflector. He said he would put a new one on immediately.
"Also," said the Amish woman, "the policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brak
starwars tom wyckoff interstellar space truckers I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 Maniac | Maniac Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 12,847 | Amish Woman An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her. "I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous." - "I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home." "Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too." "Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home." True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the broken reflector. He said he would put a new one on immediately. "Also," said the Amish woman, "the policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brak ____ Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans ............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION".................. | | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 644 addict | addict Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 644 | Amish Woman
An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her.
"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."
"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."
"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too."
"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home." True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the broken reflector. He said he would put a new one on immediately.
"Also," said the Amish woman, "the policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brak
An open road,full tank of gas,and a good selection of music,me and my Chevy van
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 pooh-bah | pooh-bah Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 3,772 | In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
The only Stephentown on earth. I don't mind Coming to work, but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch. No matter how little I do, I always feel I could do less. "The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work." NOVA VANS 1990 Dodge B150
| | | Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,286 Likes: 558 | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 18,286 Likes: 558 |
SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS '93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB '92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB | | |
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