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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #609481 April 05th 2013 10:05 am
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #609672 April 06th 2013 6:19 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment. "So why is the groom wearing black?"



The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #609704 April 06th 2013 10:56 pm
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 5,263
Likes: 1
Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
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Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
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Posts: 5,263
Likes: 1
Subject: The Sensuous Wife



"Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife.

"No," said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.


"Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?" she asked.

"Uh, no," he said.

She gave him another sexy little smile,seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

"Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 40,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

"No," he said, now really intrigued…




"Well, go look in the garage...


starwars
tom wyckoff
interstellar space truckers

[Linked Image]

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
starwars #609707 April 06th 2013 11:02 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
Maniac
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Maniac
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Posts: 12,847
lol


[Linked Image]




Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #609708 April 06th 2013 11:12 pm
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 5,263
Likes: 1
Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
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Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 5,263
Likes: 1


Bathtub Test

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in a Long-Term Care Home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person ~ to empty the bathtub."




"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."





"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"


starwars
tom wyckoff
interstellar space truckers

[Linked Image]

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #609739 April 07th 2013 10:03 am
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer, who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket, went in to try out for the job.

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"

"11" he replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right. What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Today and tomorrow."

The sheriff was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, Gomer wandered over to the barbershop where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #609741 April 07th 2013 10:07 am
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
Maniac
Offline
Maniac
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
lol


[Linked Image]




Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #609763 April 07th 2013 12:02 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 18,286
Likes: 558
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Posts: 18,286
Likes: 558
Now thats the BOB I know....More Bobby more....


SUNSHINE VANS-VAN DIEGO
ADRENALIN BY THE GALLON & CHASIN RACIN
ONE FOR THE DIRT & ONE FOR THE STREETS
'93 CHEVY G30 454 4X4 SPORTVAN EXT 146" WB
'92 CHEVY G30 454 BEAUVILLE EXT 146" WB
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #609793 April 07th 2013 4:02 pm
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
Supreme Master
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Supreme Master
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
laugh


Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!!
Never Stop Vannin'

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At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground

Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos
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