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Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #607579 March 24th 2013 7:48 am
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 5,263
Likes: 1
Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
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Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 5,263
Likes: 1

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that day.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch ?"

Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."

Dad says, "What?
At your age I didn't even know what porn was."

The robot slaps the father.


Mom laughs and says, "Well he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.

End of Story

P.S. Robot For Sale


starwars
tom wyckoff
interstellar space truckers

[Linked Image]

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #607582 March 24th 2013 7:57 am
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 5,263
Likes: 1
Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
Offline
Blendor Of Fine Schnapps
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 5,263
Likes: 1

A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the villa, the tractor, and other equipment, all the animals,the farmhouse and $22,398,750.78 in cash."

The granddaughter, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh granny, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?"

With her last breath, Granny whispered...


"Facebook..."


starwars
tom wyckoff
interstellar space truckers

[Linked Image]

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #607583 March 24th 2013 7:57 am
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
Supreme Master
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Supreme Master
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,213
Likes: 2
rofl Good one


Everyday above ground is a Good Day!!!
Never Stop Vannin'

Member of Break Away Vanners
Host of Spring Break
At Shenandoah Acres Family Campground

Owner & Creator of Wizard's Van-In Videos
Member of Riding High Truckers from 1982 to 1996
2nd Member of The Toopa Sinner Tribe
Member of Free Bird Vanners 1996 to Present
Member of Cape Atlantic Truckers South Jersey
Host Club of Freeze Out
Certified Nats Judge
Member of Shenandoah Valley Vans
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #607585 March 24th 2013 8:05 am
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
Little Johnny was not paying attention in class so the math teacher called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 5, 2, 28 and 40?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO, and Cartoon Network!”




The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #607608 March 24th 2013 10:22 am
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
Maniac
Offline
Maniac
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
lol


[Linked Image]




Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #607667 March 24th 2013 5:10 pm
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
pooh-bah
Offline
pooh-bah
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,772
A man lying on his deathbed called to him, his lawyer, his doctor, and his pastor. "I am going to die tonight," and I want to prove that when you go to heaven you can take it all with you. So to my three most trusted friends, you three of course, I am leaving 50,000 dollars in these envelopes. When I die you must come to my funeral and put the envelopes in my coffin with me." The man handed the three men identical envelopes.

A day later they each received news that, that night the old man had died . So each knew they must go to his funeral and fulfill his death wish.

Standing over the coffin one week later the pastor confessed, " I can't hide what I've done. I took 10,000 dollars from the envelope because the church needed to be painted."

Then as he did so the doctor also started to fidget then finally confessed “I took 30,000 dollars from my envelope because the hospital needed a new wing."

Ten the lawyer said plainly “You bunch of crooks! I wrote him a check for the full amount!"


The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
NOVA VANS
1990 Dodge B150
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
DrBob #607671 March 24th 2013 5:24 pm
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
Maniac
Offline
Maniac
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
lol


[Linked Image]




Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #607751 March 24th 2013 11:36 pm
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2,820
veteran
OP Offline
veteran
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2,820
stole this one from Facebook .


Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!


David

[Linked Image]

GhostRyder
Do you believe in things
that go bump in the night?
1981 Chevy G20 "Sanitarium"
http://s520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/mudslinger2006/
Re: Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread
GhostRyder #607793 March 25th 2013 9:01 am
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
Maniac
Offline
Maniac
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 12,847
rofl


[Linked Image]




Proud member: Shenandoah Valley Vans


............" REALITY IS JUST AN ELABORATE ILLUSION"..................

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