Little Johnny... The Birds and the Bees

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

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Little Johnny... Name That Animal

Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"

"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job. Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."

"I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"


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Little Johnny's Substitute Teacher


Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher.

Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing.

An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter -- is it Ms. Crunt?”