Two drunks were staggering home along a railway line. “This is the longest staircase I’ve ever climbed, moaned one."

“It certainly is,” slurred his buddy. “And the banister’s so low my back is killing me.”


A Bad Dream - Elderly Jokes

An elderly couple was in bed one night and the woman woke up from a bad dream.

She was scared and panicking. Her husband awoke and turned the light on to calm her. He asked what was wrong.

She said "I had a dream that I died and you got remarried." she asked him "if I died tomorrow would you get remarried?"

He said "sure, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life lonely."

Then she asked "well would you two live in this house?"

he replied "sure, we just got finished paying off our mortgage."

She asked again, angry now "well would she sleep in this bed?"

He snickered and said "yes, of course, this bed is brand new and expensive, there's no reason to rid of it."

She asked irately, "well would she use my golf clubs?"

He replied with a straight, serious face "No. She's left handed."

The only Stephentown on earth.
I don't mind Coming to work,
but that 8hr wait to go home is a bitch.
No matter how little I do,
I always feel I could do less.
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you
end up at work."
1990 Dodge B150