Vannin' Community and Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic Dr. Bob's Jokes Thread

Bob's a factory worker, and one day, the boss is showing a bunch of Japanese investors around the factory. One of them sees Bob, and they promptly exchange handshakes and start talking like long lost friends. Afterwards, Bob's boss asks him what that was about. Bob just replies 'oh, I know him from a few years back, I actually know a lot of important people.'

His boss is sceptic, but Bob replies: 'Tell you what, name anyone you can think off, I bet you that they know me.' 'Fine,' says his boss, and he's determined to have Bob be embarrassed, so he decides to put the bar high: 'President Obama.' 'Cool, no problem,' says Bob.

A week later they're both standing outside the White House, and Obama comes out, spots Bob and goes "Bob? What are you doing here? Come in, bring your friend, let's have a drink together." Bobs boss has no clue how, but somehow Bob and the president are friends. Once they leave his boss goes 'Fine, you know the president, but I bet you don't know the pope'.

Bob accepts the challenge, and the next week they're standing in Saint Peters square. 'This isn't gonna work, he's never going to see me here when there's this much people. You stay here, I'll go talk to him and you'll see me on the balcony, the guards know me too.' Half an hour later, Bob and the pope appear side by side on the balcony. Bobs boss gets a heart attack, and Bob goes to visit him in the hospital.

'What happened? Did you not expect me to actually know the pope?' 'No, it wasn't that, I sort of expected that to happen. But there was a tourist next to me that asked 'Who's the guy in his pajamas standing next to Bob there?'
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"Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?”

“Huge hands, sir.”