Two rednecks are out on the lake fishing.
One turns to the other and asks "If I were to go to your house one day while you were out hunting, and I screwed your wife and she became pregnant... would that make us kin?"
The other replies "I don't think it would, but it sure would make us even!"

Three elderly men go out walking:

First one says. "Windy isn't it? "

Second one says, "No its Thursday!"!

Third one says. "So am I. Lets go get a beer".