While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing nobody around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that? " she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.

"Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful. I had tennis elbow once.


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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx