Signs that Childhood is Over

* Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore.
* Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.
* The average ten-year-old doesn't have a clue who Bo and Luke Duke are.
* Being bad is no longer cool.
* You have friends who have kids.
* Saturday mornings are for sleeping.
* You are taller than the slide at the McDonald's playland.
* Your parents' jokes are now funny.
* You have once said, "Whatch-you talkin' 'bout Willis?"
* You have owned, and since disowned Michael Jackson's Thriller.
* Christmas starts to piss you off.
* You would rather wear your dirty clothes again, cuz mom is not there to do your laundry anymore.
* Two words: parachute pants.
* Naps are good.
* Hitting girls is no longer considered flirting.
* You have once deemed Space Invaders as "The best game ever".
* When you know that the machines in gas station bathrooms don't dispense balloons.
* When things go wrong, you can't just yell, "Do-over!"
* Playboy's Playmate of the month is younger than you.
* The only thing in your cereal box is...cereal.
* You actually buy scarves, gloves, and sunscreen.
* Your idea of fun parties now include Chips 'n' Salsa and Snapple.
* You leave concerts and ball games early to beat the crowd.
* You WANT clothes for Christmas.
* You don't want a Camaro because of the insurance premiums.
* You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
* You've bought an album on vinyl.
* You remember seeing Star Wars when it first came out.
* You read the "if you were born on this day in 1976 you are of legal age to buy alcohol" sign at the liquor store and recall attending a high school dance on that date.
* You look in the surveillance camera monitor at the convenience store, wonder who that guy is standing at the counter with the bald spot, and then realize it is a shot of you from behind.

tom wyckoff
interstellar space truckers

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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx