Wife: How much do you love me ?
Husband: I can't measure.

Wife: No just tell me.
Husband: I am like a cell phone & you are my sim card, I am nothing without you.

Wife: Wow! that's so romantic.
Husband (saying to himself): Thank God she doesn't know, this is a Chinese phone, with FOUR sim Cards...

tom wyckoff
interstellar space truckers

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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx