The young married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.
The husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"
"Yes", she replies, "he's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
"That's remarkable", the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx