A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant.
The doctor says, "I know that you are not married!
Do you know who the father of this baby is?"
The girl thought and then asked, "Doc, if you ate a can of 'Baked Beans', would you know exactly which bean made you fart?"
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx